kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
