what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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