I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
be right there i have to get my cape
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Randomize
