I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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