honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
