I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize