I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
