my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize