Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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