this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
