Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
And then he peed in my hair
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