So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
There's always time for handjobs
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
