He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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