Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize