Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
