so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
