Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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