White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
