I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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