So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
