I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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