The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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