I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Randomize
