it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
