If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
