I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
