Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
