Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
