I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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