Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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