Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
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I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
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I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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