I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Randomize
