i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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