And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
