There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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