Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
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