I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
how drunk are you?
Several
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize