i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
