went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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