One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
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Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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