I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
