Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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