I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Randomize
