I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
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she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
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Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
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