i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
