I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
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