So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
