how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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