I can tuck mytits in my pants
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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