Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
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