Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Randomize
