she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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