I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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