was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
