she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
no you cant smoke seaweed
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
