My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
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