last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
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Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
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Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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